Logan's Girlfriend
by Lady Liln
Summary: Logan's having a great time secretly dating Quinn. But when his friends set him up on a blind date, he makes up a girlfriend to get out of it--and then has to face the consequences of THAT. Quogan.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My first Zoey 101 fic! I recentely became hooked on this paring...anyway, this is just going to be a light comedy piece to tide me over until at least Rollercoaster, told from Logan's POV. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Whatever.**

* * *

My friends are such morons.

Things were going so _well_ before they butted in. Like, amazingly well. Not only was I rich and hot—as usual—but I also had a hot girlfriend. And, sure, nobody but us knew we were going out (well, us and the pizza delivery guy, but does he count?) but it was actually kinda fun meeting in secret. Lots of dark-closet making out, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the day I realized what morons they were started out innocently enough. It was a Saturday, it was sunny. Me, James, Michael, Zoey, Lola, Vince and Quinn were hanging out in the lounge before lunch. Then this blonde chick came up to me as we were sitting there talking.

"Hey, Logan," she said, smiling. "You look hot today."

"Thanks for noticing," I said, smiling back. I noticed Quinn was glaring at me. What? It's not like I was _flirting_. A girl complimented me. I thanked her. It's called being _polite_.

"You wanna grab some lunch?" Okay, on the other hand? This girl was definitely flirting. I shocked a panicked look at Quinn, which I sort of regretted afterwards—what if someone had noticed? Anyway, she looked pissed.

"Um," I said intelligently. "I'm not really hungry."

"Oh," the girl said, looking surprised. "Okay. Um. Well, I guess I'll see you later then."

"Bye," I mumbled as she walked away. I glanced at Quinn. She looked calmer; when she noticed me looking she flashed me a small smile. I was in the clear.

"Dude, what is _with_ you?" Michael said, punching me on the shoulder. Which didn't hurt, because I have these amazing toned arms—but still, was that really necessary?

"Whaddaya mean?" I asked, giving him a weird look.

"That girl just asked you out! That was complete and utter flirting! An open invitation! And you turned her _down_?!"

"Yeah," I said. "So?"

"_So_?" James repeated. "So, what happened to Mr. I-Average-Three-Dates-A-Week?"

"Yeah!" said Michael. "I don't remember seeing you hitting on a girl in like two and a half months!"

"Yeah, well," I said, not really thinking of a good answer.

"The last girl I can remember you hitting on is that blonde girl when Sparkplug was following me," Michael said, and I was surprised to see that Quinn looked a little bit jealous. Really. _Quinn_ being jealous of some random, unimportant chick I'd flirted with once. Sometimes things are just backwards. "That _was_ like two and a half months ago?"

"So why did you turn her down?" Vince asked. I shrugged.

"She's not my type," I said. I didn't tell them that my type was smart and pretty and fun brunettes with glasses, who also happened to be really good kissers. Where she picked up that skill I don't know. Certainly not with Del Figgalo…she must just naturally be a good kisser.

"Dude," Michael said, interrupting my train of thought. "_Girl_ is your type. Have you decided to become a monk or something?"

"Right," James said. "Logan the monk." They all got a good laugh out of that one. What did I do to deserve such friends?

"I decided there's more to life than a series of meaningless relationships with no real depth or feeling," I said. I was pretty sure they'd be impressed and awed by my amazing philosophicalness and maturity.

No such luck.

Instead, they all burst out laughing.

"Logan," said Zoey through her giggles. "I'd almost say that sounds sweet if it weren't coming from _you_." I mean, _harsh_.

"Guys," Quinn said over the laughter. "I don't think he's kidding!" Good old Quinn. Trying to defend me. Unfortunately, it might make them suspicious.

But no, they just continued their laughing. Quinn shrugged at me. I smiled at her—let my friends think whatever they wanted. It couldn't do any harm.

How very wrong I was.

* * *

"Okay, Logan," Michael said as soon as I walked into our dorm the next day. "Your date is at seven."

"Huh?" I said. I was still a little dazed from kissing Quinn—she seemed to do that to me.

"Your date," Michael repeated. "With a Miss Bonnie Hoover. One of the hottest girls on campus."

"I don't have a date with her," I said, confused. I may not be a genius, but I knew for sure that I had not scheduled a date with any "Miss Bonnie Hoover".

"Yes, you do. I just set it up," Michael said with a grin. He stood up and clapped me on the shoulder. "You ever been on a blind date before?"

"_What_?!" I yelled, understanding what he'd done.

"A blind date," Michael said, now looking a bit unsure. "It's where—"

"I _know_ what a blind date is," I snapped. "How could you set me up on one?"

"Yeah," James said from his bed. "He's a monk, remember?"

"Dude, you need some _lovin_'. I'm worried about you—not picking up on girls? That ain't normal," Michael said, half joking.

I wasn't about to tell him I'd gotten more "_lovin'_" the last ten minutes than he probably had in his whole life. Instead, I punched him in the stomach. Hard.

"Oof," Michael grunted, falling back on James's bed.

"Dude!" James exclaimed, looking at me in surprise.

"What was _that_ for?" Michael said. Okay, I didn't punch him _that_ hard—just enough to make him loose his breath for a moment.

"For setting me up on a blind date!" I yelled. They both knew I had anger issues. But I don't suppose they took that into account when they were setting me up on this. It made me wish they had believed rumors of my monkshood.

"We were just trying to help!" said Michael.

"Yeah, well, you sure did a great job of that!"

"What's this all about?" I whirled around to find Zoey standing in the doorway, flanked as usual by Lola and Quinn, who looked worried.

"Nothing!" I said.

"He's angry because we set him up on a blind date!" Michael told them, as though this were the most ridiculous thing in the world. I turned away so I wouldn't have to see Quinn's reaction.

"Well, who'd you set him up with?" I heard Zoey ask behind me.

"Yeah, Stacey?" giggled Lola. "I can see why he'd be upset."

"_Lola_," Zoey said. "Be nice."

"No, not Stacey," Michael said. "Bonnie Hoover."

"The French girl?" said Lola.

"Yeah! The hot French girl!"

"So…why doesn't he want to go?"

Like the fact that I was facing the wall gave them permission to talk like I wasn't in the room?

"I dunno! He's been acting all weird lately."

"Look," I said, turning around. "I'm not interested in Bonnie Hoover, no matter how hot or French she may be, okay?"

"_Why_?" Michael, Zoey, and James all said at once. Lola raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. Quinn bit down on her thumbnail. I took a deep breath.

"Because," I said. "I have a girlfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! Reviews make my day and encourage me to keep writing, so don't forget about that little blue button on the bottom left hand of your screen...;)**

**Here's the second chapter! I'll try to update every day. This is so much fun; it just writes itself! Chapter 3 should be up tomorrow-ish...**

* * *

At first there was just silence as they all stared at me. Quinn's eyes were wide and she was frantically shaking her head back and forth, until James glanced her way and she stopped.

"Yeah, right," Zoey finally said.

"A girlfriend? You don't have girlfriends. You just have _dates_."

"Anyway, how could you be dating someone and not tell us? Why would you do that?"

"Look," I said, ignoring their questions. "I have a girlfriend, okay? And that's all you need to know. So just drop it. I'm not going on a date with Bonnie."

"Oh, yeah?" said Michael suspiciously. "What's her name?"

"Uh," I said, looking around the room for inspiration. "Bryn." I winced. That sounded awfully close to "Quinn".

"Really," James said, in a tone that implied he didn't believe a word of it. I gulped.

"So, how come none of us have met her?" Zoey asked. "Does she go to PCA?"

"No!" I said. "No, she doesn't." That would make it easier—to have an imaginary girlfriend who conveniently the gang had no chance of ever meeting.

"So when and where did you meet her, then?" Lola asked, confused. "You haven't been of campus in the last two and a half months, unless you count, like, Vaccarro."

"Um," I said. "I met her when I was visiting my dad last?"

"That was like _four_ months ago," said Michael. "You've been flirting with girls since then."

"Oh, right," I said, trying to think fast. "I got mixed up. She does go to PCA."

Quinn let out a soft groan and put her head in her hands.

"So then how come we've never met her?" Zoey repeated, after sharing weird looks with the others.

"You just…don't have any classes together?" I tried.

"I've seen her," Quinn spoke up. I had never been more grateful for the help. Everyone turned to look at her with surprise.

"Really?" said Zoey. It was obvious from her tone of voice that she hadn't believed me at all until Quinn spoke. But of course, if _Quinn_ said it was true, then it _had_ to be true. Yeesh.

"What's she look like?" asked Lola.

"Oh, um," I said. I was probably saying "um" way too much, but I couldn't help it. "You know. Like a girl."

"Red hair," Quinn supplied.

"Right," I agreed. "Red hair. And…you know. Like a girl."

"How long have you been dating her?" James asked, furrowing his brow. Really, I was getting tired of the 20 questions.

"For about two and a half months, okay?" I snapped, beginning to get annoyed.

"And yet in all that time you never told us? We've never seen her or noticed you go out on dates?" Zoey was sounding suspicious again.

I shrugged. "Mostly we just talk on the phone."

"I've never heard you on the phone with any _'Bryn'_," Michael argued.

"I meant texting." I just wished something would happen just to get their stupid attention away from me.

"So what's she like?" Lola asked.

"Oh, you know…" I said, crossing over to the mini fridge and pulling out a Coke. "Nice. And stuff."

"Right," Zoey said uncertainly. Just then Michael's ringtone blasted through the room, and everyone turned to look at him. I breathed a sigh of relief and took a swig of my Coke.

"Hello?...Oh, hey Bonnie….Actually, no, I just found out he's busy…Yeah, sorry…Okay, then. Bye."

"Date cancelled," Michael said, rolling his eyes at me. I grinned.

"Thanks, man."

"So, when do we get to meet Bryn?" James said casually. I froze.

* * *

"Maybe Bryn could be killed?" I suggested, pacing back and forth in the small space of the janitor's closet. "Or is that too much? I guess I could dump her. Or she could dump me. Or move to, like, Estonia."

"Estonia?" echoed Quinn. "You've heard of Estonia?"

"Yeah, it's in Canada, right?" Quinn rolled her eyes, but I didn't pay much attention. "Anyway, how do I get rid of her?"

"I have no idea," said Quinn. "Sure, you can say you broke up—but remember what they said? If you don't show evidence, i.e. introduce them to 'Bryn' in the next forty-eight hours, they're going to make you walk around campus for an hour in a—"

"I know!" I cut her off, not wanting to be reminded of the horrible consequences that awaited me if my lie was revealed. "God, where are we going to find a nice redhead girl who goes to PCA that none of the gang have ever met and will go along with the plan and let me introduce her as 'Bryn'?" I groaned and sagged against the door.

"You got me there," said Quinn. "Excuse me." She was reaching for the door handle.

"What are you doing?" I asked, surprised. "You're leaving? What about my problem?"

"Why don't you take it up with _Bryn_?" she suggested sarcastically. "You can stroke her red, red hair and text her late into the night, because she's just _nice_ like that."

I stared at her for several long moments, completely bewildered. She didn't meet my gaze. Then a slow smile spread across my face.

"Quinn Pensky," I said softly. "Are you jealous of an _imaginary person_?"

"No," Quinn snapped. I raised my eyebrows. Then she sighed. "I guess it's pretty silly, isn't it?" she admitted, biting her lip.

"Very silly," I said before I kissed her.

And in that moment, I really couldn't care less if my friends made me parade around campus in a—ugh.


End file.
